What I Learned From Being Laid Off Twice In 5 Years

2023 has been a rough year across industries when it comes to layoffs. While tech companies have topped the headlines for expected and unexpected cuts, the pain has been felt by over 225,000 people from over 1,000 employers, and we might not be done yet.

Being laid off, particularly without warning, is at best unsettling and at worst, debilitating. The stress of finding a way to pay the bills is often only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the mental toll and effects of losing your job.

As someone who has ridden the emotional rollercoaster of layoffs twice, there are a few things I have learned. Everyone’s experience and situation is different, so what applied to me may not be another person’s experience, but if I can share a little insight that could be a positive influence or bright spot in someone’s day, why not share?

Unemployment is not a break

“At least you have free time now.”

“Take the time to recharge.”

“I’ll get so much done while I apply for jobs.”

All common thoughts and comments shared when a layoff occurs. Suddenly presented with an open schedule, the assumption may be that the time between jobs will allow for a much needed break or extra hours to complete tasks. However, applying for jobs often becomes a job in itself, especially in a market such as what we see now where open roles are receiving thousands of applications and the ability to stand out is limited. Searching for openings, reading job descriptions to tailor a resume to their needs, and writing cover letters can quickly add up to more hours than a typical job, while being more stressful.

Don’t be fooled by the open hours, but also try to not be overwhelmed by the need to find another job. The first time I was laid off it was in the middle of the day; I came home crying and immediately started looking for jobs. That was a mistake. Not only did none of those efforts yield a result, I hadn’t given myself time to deal with the shock.

Take a beat, take a breath, and remember to take care of yourself.

Companies are not families

This one might ruffle some feathers, but companies are not families. Sure, you spend more time with your colleagues than your family, and forming close bonds and friendships with coworkers is not uncommon, but the company itself is not a family, and its priority will always be the success of the business. Will management or colleagues feel bad when people are let go? Probably; humans are generally emphatic, but few and far between scenarios exist where colleagues are willing to sacrifice their own well-being and livelihood in favor of someone else’s. This doesn’t make them bad people by any means, but it also doesn’t make them family.

It’s just business…

This one is hard to swallow when you are the one being let go, but layoffs are about business and business alone. They are often not a reflection of you personally or even necessarily how much you have contributed to the company. It is a numbers game. You could be a top producer, but if someone far cheaper isn’t far behind you in production, the numbers are not in your favor.

Of course, there are cases where performance is a contributing or sole factor in the decision, but in that case, it is up to you to take that knowledge and do something about it moving forward.

Separate your identity from your job

I think this one is particularly tough for millennials, as we grew up with a picture perfect plan of what life was supposed to be, and our jobs were always a huge component of that. If nothing else, being laid off should act as a reminder that you are not your job, or even your chosen field. Sometimes it is hard to separate ourselves from our source of income, when we introduce ourselves we are often asked what we do for a living. But you are not your job, and if your only internal identifier is tied to your profession, it’s time to reflect and dig a little deeper inside. You may be surprised at the positive impact it has on your personal and professional life.

Imposter Syndrome

Raise your hand if you have ever felt professionally inferior to colleagues. To friends? To random LinkedIn influencers sharing their expertise daily in your feed? Here’s a secret: so has everyone else.

The great thing about the internet and social media is that it offers an endless stream of information. The bad thing? See the previous sentence. Job descriptions asking for ten years of experience in every skill set are unrealistic; the notion that you should be an expert in every aspect of every channel is a fantasy. No one knows everything and no one is a magic pill that will instantly transform a company, no matter what social media tells you.

You have skills, you have experience, and you always have the opportunity to take advantage of the endless stream of information to expand and improve those skills. You will not be a fit for every job, but every company is also not a fit for you. Hiring is a two way street, remember that.

I can, and will, bounce back

This is perhaps the most important lesson of them all. Being laid off is not the end of the world. It sucks, it can be scary, and it is pretty much always stressful. But how you react and your decision on how to move forward is far more important in determining what happens next.

If you need to break down and cry one day, do it. If you need to set a schedule for hours you will apply for jobs and when you will give yourself a break (I was really bad at this tactic, but I have friends who this was a game changer for), then make the schedule. Take a class, read a book, do whatever it is you feel you need to do to come out of this as a stronger version of yourself. There is plenty of advice out there telling you how to handle the situation, but only you can decide what is the right method for you.

Looking for a new role or trying to build your network? Reach out to me on LinkedIn!